My mom has been bugging me this question a lot. Whenever I answer her sharply, she would make this “poor unfortunate” face and voice and ask me ” why do you talk back to your parents that way. why? what’s wrong?” Sigh… as if she doesn’t know. I blame them for everything unfortunate that is happening to me. why i stop one year before going to college. they said they want me to study in US. then why i have less interest in reading. they took away my books and disapprove of me reading non related school books when i was young. why they take me to learn piano when i want to take singing lessons. why i didn’t graduate with my batch cause they had make me transfer to a different course. sigh… i want to die, runaway, leave… i don’t know how else i could be truly happy.

-JUST FOR A WHILE- by Ms. Aiza Seguerra

just for a while
all that i want is a chance to be near you
just for a while

all through the day
all that i need is to see and to hear you
i dream of how it must feel to embrace you
in my heart i long to hold you
just for a while

i know deep within me
that you and i, we are worlds apart
that i never will have
a part of your heart

yet i go on to dream about you
dreamin’ all day for a chance to be near you
or just to feel you close and to kiss you
even just for a while
and i go on and i pray that one day
love will be kind to me in someway
but until then i know i’ll have you
and my dreams i know i’ll keep you
for a while

i close my eyes
and i imagine that you are beside me
i close my eyes and i feel you inside me
what i feel is as real as can be
for a while

i know deep within me
that you and i, we are worlds apart
that i never will have
a part of your heart

and yet i go on to dream about you
dreamin’ all day for a chance to be near you
or just to feel you close and to kiss you
even just for a while
and i go on and i pray that one day
love will be kind to me in someway
but until then i know i’ll have you
and my dreams i know i’ll keep you
for a while

for a while
i’ll have you

So yesterday was my bday. I didn’t announce to the people at the office that it was my bday. One reason is because I’m familiar with the filipino mentality of palibre. But it came to a surprise to me when yesterday, one of them wants to join me in my commute to home so she could drop by at the church I always pass by. Then it dawned upon me that it’s a normal tradition of visiting a church to give thanks to Him during bdays. So I offered to join her to go to church. It was worth the visit cause it really gives such a peaceful and calm effect to the state of mind, body and spirit.

Today, a few mins before we were about to left for work. I told them to not head home immediately because I want to treat them. So with that I revealed to them what yesterday was. I’m happy that they were surprise and gave well wishes to me. So we all headed to the mall and start to think of a place to eat. This was one of the little dilemma I had. Where to feed them. My choices were a) Red Ribbon, for their combo meals which includes a slice of cake b) KFC, for their combo meal which include soup and brownie c) Pizza Hut, I saw in the ad that they have a P99 meals. Hey I’m on a tight budget so why splurge on fancy restaurants.

First stop was the RR but I remembered that in RP there wasn’t any dine in for RR. So we headed to PH but there was a queue. Then on the last min. I suggested we go to Kenny Rogers. It was totally an unexpected decision cause the last time I went there was like 2 yrs. ago and I was disappointed on their service back then. But now, I was totally impressed especially cause the atmosphere of that branch was different. It was like a whole new different kind of fast food ambiance and food to match. A lot of improvement were done with the menu with included more variations and choices. Actually that was the key word there. CHOICES CHOICES CHOICES. That was the ad inside the place were screaming about. Ö Just love the interiors and food was not bad either. Service could need a little improvement specifically on the counter section. Their order taking line was a mess and makes the customer feels confuse where to stand to get their order taken. Anyway, food arrived and go and all in all it was pretty good. The roast chicken was tasty and side dish was yummy but a little too much on the flavor. This made me happily obliged to answer their survey form with good remarks.

After finishing our lunch we have separated our ways as all of us have different routes to take. It felt good that I treat them to a nice lunch in a non typical fast food restaurant. I notice that my workmate felt that place was a little bit sosy compare to some place they have eaten before. If only they knew that it was nothing compared to some really sosyal places I would be pressure to take if I would have to treat my college friends. Argh..

Thursday

Nothing much happen on Thursday. Just bummed around the house and watch some DVD. Oh.. I met a new person through ym though. He’s name was familiar but it turns out that I gave him my id through an internet match service site. He seemed nice though but aren’t they all at first? I’ll keep you updated if he turns out to be one of those stalker or psycho kinds. He told me some informations about himself that seems to be consistent. Well after what happened to the last guy, I figure I better run a thorough checkpoint.

Haven’t had the mood to post in here for a few days. The lazy bug bit me.

This week is holy week here in Phil. So in observance of the Lenten Season, Thursday and Friday was considered as a nonworking holiday.

Wednesday.

This day was really an unbelievable day for me.

When I was about to go to the office, one of our staff called me up. She sounded so scared, shocked and alarmed. Turns out our office was broke in by thieves during the night. When I came there I was surprised by the mess. The papers were everywhere. All the drawers were on top of the desks. Argh.. first thing I checked was the computer upstairs. That and the applicant’s documents were all I’m worried about. Cause I know there’s no money in the office. Argh.. upstairs was more messy than the first floor and I thought that we can leave the office earlier that day. Seemed like all we’re gonna do is clean up.

What’s worse than the mess itself was calling the POLICE!

First of all

Almost all of the number that was indicate in the directory wasn’t working.

Second

Those number that works the person on the other line would say that our location wasn’t in their jurisdiction. Sheesh… don’t they communicate to each other? Couldn’t they call the other station and inform there fellow policeman that there’s some citizen who are in need of their assistance. Geez.. Unfortunately for me and for the policeman who answered my call that he is so RETARDED. He kept getting the informations wrong and he asked irrelevant questions. Actually, he should have stopped asking and start assuring me that they will do their best to assist us.

SUCH INCOMPETENCE!!!

On a positive note though, good news is nothing was gone (thank goodness), then the inspector and the SOCO people were really accommodating to us, and we had the window fixed and repaired all in the same day.

I wish I didn’t make that hamon to myself that I wouldn’t get sick no matter what. I feel that this cold or flu of mine is really from a different species of bacteria. My mind can’t process how or what I should take to get better. I have some stuffy nose so I know I should take decolgen but my throat is also itchy and I’ve been coughing a lot. However no phelgms are producing when I cough. Sigh… I hate that this is happening cause now I just want to make the cough worse so at least I would be really convince that I do have a cough. This makes me want to eat lots of sweet and junk food.

Even though I’m not feeling well today. I felt I’m obligated to accompany my big sis to the mall. The mall is her usual rendezvous for orienting the applicants. Even though I don’t need to see or meet with the applicant, I’m just too lazy and not feeling well enough to hit the mall. But I just can’t let my sis go there alone. Cause she might want some company and it’s also not fair for her that she’s working while the rest of us is resting. Oh well, this would be a good time to expose myself to different people for a change and to get some exercise. Window shopping here I come.

I saw this in the news program “24 oras”. They were featuring Pinoy artist abroad who’s gaining popularity. I think he’s name is Arnel and he won some contest to be the lead singer of the band “Journey”. I was really moved by the way he sang that version faithfully. So lately that’s been in my head this past few days. ” I’m forever yours…… faithfully.”

Buti nalang this week is ending na. Sobrang dreaded ko pumasok na ng office knowing na meron isang lecheng applikante ay nangungulit na naman kunin ang kanyang pera. This day started not good. Not good kasi ginising na naman ako ni mama using her nagging high pitch voice. Drats talaga na I slept late yesterday, dahil lang gusto ko isama si shobe manuod ng avatar. Half way knocked dead na ako. Pero enjoy naman ako kasi gusto ko rin samahan si bunso manuod. Feel ko nagbabonding kami pag nanunuod kami together.

Anyhoo… sabi ni mama sakin na they’re going out na to go to Batangas and wait ko daw si big sis from the interview para sabay na kami pumunta ng Manila. So, I looked at my cell to check what time na then went back to sleep. Basta pag hindi pa ngalarm ang cell ko, hindi ako babangon. Hehe.. Pero pansin ko, while still half asleep, masama na pakiramdam ko. Nahawa yata ako kay Mami A. She’s been feeling sick this pass few days sa work. Everything is going according to plan na. Hehe.. which is getting sick para I don’t have to go to the office and face the annoying people and calls. But kulang parin yung sama ng pakiramdam ko. So sayang kasi if ever magkakasakit ako, estimate ko mga sunday pa ito magiging malalala kaya hinayaan ko nalang at nagbihis na ako.

Sabay kami ni big sis pumunta ng Maynila at enjoy naman ako sa company niya. Nakaupo lang ako sa passenger seat while trying to amuse her. She really needs to be cheered up kasi sobrang dami na pressure sakanya. I’m really grateful na nandito siya dahil pag wala… naku!!! perish the thought! Binaba niya ako malapit sa tapat ng office at alam ko na inaavoid namin na makita kasi madami kaming fans na baka bigla sumulpot at sugurin siya sa kotse.

Pag pasok ko ng office ay napansin ko na ok naman mga kasama ko ngayon at may dalang kwek kwek si sis edwina. Unang pumasok sa utak ko ay yum at yuck at the same time. Yum kasi kahapon ko pa gusto kumain ng kwek kwek kaso yuck kasi nakababad sa suka. As in soak na soak ang coating sa vinegar. Hay.. minsan hindi ko maintindihan bakit ganyan sila. Alam ko matalino sila at magaling dumiskarte kaso, ewan ko ba, parang minsan hindi nila ginagamit ang eggnogs nila. Lalo na si Mami A. Hehe.. pero even though.. labs ko parin siya.

Pag pasok ko palang inaanticipate ko na ang mga possible na mangyari sa araw na toh. Ineexpect ko mga tatlong bagay ang mangyayari ngayon. Naku.. naging manghuhula pa ako. Well first, alam ko si applicant fickle mind ay dadaan para iclaim ang documents niya, and this time final decision na niya ito. Kaya pinaalam ko na sakanila na dala ko ang gamit niya para sila na mgrelease. Second, si lokong lisa ay dadaan sa opis para kunin ang document ng kanyang boylet on his behalf. Hinanda ko kanina si sis kung pano magrelease kasi alam ko na baka kulang ang turo saknya ni Mami A. True enough… kulang nga. Pero pansin ko mahihirapan si sis sa pagsign ng mga release forms. Kasi masyadong mahinhin si sis. Unlike me, mataray masungit. hehe.. sabi ko saknya na ang key doon is to have control of the situation and be the boss. Sana makuha niya un at maapply niya. Oh well.. time will tell. So last but not the least dreaded predicted situation of today was luluwas ang isang lecheng fan namin para mangulit na naman. Naku!!! Wala ako sa mood makita siya dahil ang kulit kulit na niya. Wala ako pake sa mga sinabi niya dati kasi pano kaya sila nakasurvive of one year of waiting unless nakakagawa sila ng paraan. Sus.. so what’s another few months gonna hurt for them. I don’t think it’s such a big deal. Masyado lang siya at sila dramatic and OA. Kaya right then and there I decided na to close the office early. Half day!!! Woo Hoo!! Sarap talaga ang feeling na maging boss. Sarap din mamatay sa dami ng problema.

So bago kami umalis ng office binigay ko na muna sakanila ang mga sahod nila. Kay sis binigay ko 1.5 Una nagkahiyaan pa kami. E pano naman kasi worried ako na baka naliliitan siya dun. Which is oo nga maliit kaso considering na wala pa naman masyado ginagawa at wala siya office experience kaya i think medyo fair naman un. Sa mukha naman niya wala naman ako nasense na disagreement. Besides hindi din naman siya gumagastos for lunch dahil sagot ko madalas un. So commute lang gastos niya sa ngayon. Which I suggest na lumipat siya ng mas malapit na matitirhan. Then kay Mami A 2 ang binigay ko. Nung pag kaabot ko saknya ang moni, ng makiusap siya sakin regarding sa utang niya sakin. Sabi ko saknya na I understand naman ung lagay niya ngayon at alam ko na madami siya ginagastos dahil may pamilya siya at panay nagkakasakit sila. Naku note to self na umiwas muna at baka lalo ako mahawa.

Medyo happy naman ako na maaga nga kami umalis kasi may pupuntahan pa ako na bangko. Maghuhulog ako ng pera sa dalawang applicant na nakikita ko ay mabait kaya i decided it would be good to give them a share na. Pero pucha.. laking gulat ko na pag-abot ko ng pera sa counter para mgdeposit, hiningi ako ng additional pera. Charge pala un pag magdedeposit ako sa provincial branch. WTF!!! Parang nrip-off ako. Hay, ayan na naman ngkkick ang barat side ko. Oh well… bigay nalang para matapos na. After the deposit narampa kami ni sis sa RP kaso wala din kwenta kasi wala lang. Nakakapagod pala pag maging single. Just looking at other couples, nakakadrain na ngpositive energy kasi siyempre nakakainggit. Then lalabas ang animal instinct of finding a prey but i’ll only go till there kasi ayoko maging stalker. It’s just creepy and pathetic to be.

After the brief ramp at the mall, on our way papuntang sakayan, bumili muna ako ng mga dvd kasi it’s the weekend na and I want to spend it being a couch potato. Nothing new to watch from the selection so I just bought yung mga old disney movie collection like beauty and the beast and little mermaid. Para malabas at matuwa ang inner child in me. Sayang nga lang na hindi ako nakadaan ng grocery para mgrestock ng junk food. Oh well pagtiyaga nalang ang banana.